At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
