dude i'm inner monologue high
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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