If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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