I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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