Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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