I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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