I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
