Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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