6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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