and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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