apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
