can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it glows. i had to have it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
