Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
