I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
