Yo dont text me then not text me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
