I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
