K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
