Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
