i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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