He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
