I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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