the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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