i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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