And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
