I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
