around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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