I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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