my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
