I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
