Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
