i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
