Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
