8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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