I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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