i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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