So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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