So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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