hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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