Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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