You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
