I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
