Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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