I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
