he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
