someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
