We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
