A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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