their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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