"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
