I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Boobs are out for the taking
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
